All Thai'd Up
πΉπ ALL THAI'D UP IN THAILAND
Land of Infinite Smiles & Endless Adventures
Fish is now a vegetable
Reprint 2/9/09
I'm in Vegan paradise - Soi Khao San, Bangkok, with one low price guarantee: an economy class ticket to cool, with complimentary mojo on takeoff.
I have just redefined what it means to be a Vegan - thanks to a street vendor who curried up some Pad Thai with octopus and shrimp.
π¨ Durian Alert!
"We have located the durian smell to this room, please step aside."
π₯₯ Coconut Magic
I'm coo coo for Coconuts - They are anti-viral, anti-fungal and anti-microbial. I'm up to six a day. The water is the purest liquid second only to water itself. It is full of electrolytes, calcium and magnesium. An average size coconut has more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117 mg).
Coconut Water has more food value than whole milk; is a Natural Isotonic Beverage - The same level we have in our blood; and, it contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk.
π The King of Fruits
Budweiser may be the King of beers, but Durian is the King Of Fruits. You just can't get fresh Durian in the States, so I have been beasting out on Durian. Developing a taste for this may be an Asian thing, but I love the unusual taste and flavor... the odor is something else!
Banned in public places such as subways, malls and hotels because it smells like locker room socks, it shouldn't stop you. If you are in Thailand, and don't try it, it's like living in America, and never having a slice of bread!
"I travel a lot. Travel means temporary freedom: Detachment, fractional ownership or no ownership at all, trying out new things, no commitments and no obligations, endless new experiences." - ER
π Khao San University
Like Vegas, Thai Me Up, Thai Me Down... what goes in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok. It's the most spectacular outbreak of mass delirium that you are likely to see. I will, however, let you in on a secret - it's called ΰΈΰΈΰΈΰΈ้ΰΈ²ΰΈ§ΰΈͺΰΈ²ΰΈ£ Khao San Road.
Khao San is "a short road that has the longest dream in the world", RPCV, ("the toughest time you'll ever kill") returning Peace Corps volunteers live hand to mouth on their paltry stipend, weeks on end. Khao San Road is a popular destination for 'alumni' of world renowned institutes of higher learning.
π️ The Diploma Mill
Khao San sees everything in quotations. It's "Khao San" knockoff clothes and "Khao San" pirated CDs. "Khao San" knockoff clothes. "Khao San" Rolex watches. Then there is, "Khao San University" - fake educational diplomas - a last stop for broke backpackers.
Cowboy Falang (foreigners) who end up teaching English, if they have a good personality and speak the mother tongue, use these credentials as their meal ticket, or make plane fare back to wherever they are going to be picking up their mail.
π§♂️ Zencrafters
Instant enlightenment in about 20 minutes or less.
The education at "Khao San Road University" is dirt cheap. Just spell your name on this piece of paper. They'll print you up a diploma cum laude if you like. No tests. No books. No one is turned down. You give them money. They give you a degree.
I always liked the idea of reaching my human potential. I just never liked the price tag. At "Khao San Road University" the price is right Bob - the low flat fee of 3,500 baht about $90 bucks, you can have three or four degrees: University of Texas, UCLA, and throw in a TEFL certificate to fast track your work permit for teaching English.
π The Real Cult of the Amateur
This really pisses off a lot of University of Spoiled Children (USC) types, and Now You're Unemployed (NYU) defaulting on student loans types. "Wow, while you were working for $22,000 a year at that law firm, I made just as much in six months in Thailand and _____."
The real fun comes when they come back to the states, and try to use it to gain a position of trust, lying their way to the top. All the lies will be washed away by the truth, albeit, there is always a degree of suspicion. This is the real cult of the amateur. A "Little Miss Sunshine" moment - you don't really need a degree conferred on you to be beautiful!
π The Degree Collectors
The whole thing about college being some higher education only experience is ridiculous. "What's your major? Vodka, now that's a major, with a minor in Beer. Excellent, the Grail!, Nacho." I know a lot of workaholics in college - mention the word work and all they wanted to do is get drunk.
Let's get real. You have to know when to quit and try again later. That's what's so endearing about the backpackers, "stopping out" for a while, chilling. I understand their logic: Why go through all the bother it takes to get a degree from an accredited institution? Diplomas from those same schools can be bought for $30 bucks. No one is turned down.
⚠️ The Machine vs. The Human
Cowboy English teachers, who quit school to travel around the world, or for whatever reason just didn't dig school, and buy these "non-traditional" degrees, I have no beef with (as long as they don't "enroll" at Khao San University and "become" a Dentist).
A machine says "I was only following orders." It only does what it was programmed to do. That's walking the painted line, finishing school.
π️ The Underground Economy
Beasting out on degrees and transcripts has replaced stamps and coin collecting as the hobby of choice for the Lonely Planet crowd. Although I couldn't find a hazmat trucker's card, this makes Alvarado Avenue's Downtown Los Angeles, with its cheap green cards, fake SSN#'s and California driver's licenses look like kindergarten.
Here's a reprint from Hotel @nyware's last jet to Khao San Road - the most spectacular outbreak of mass delirium that you are likely to see.
π The Bangkok Bottom Line
What goes in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok. But the memories, the experiences, the coconut-fueled adventures, and yes, even the durian-scented enlightenment - those travel with you forever. In the land of infinite smiles, sometimes the biggest education happens outside any university walls, fake or otherwise.
Thailand taught me that paradise isn't a place - it's a state of mind, preferably one that includes six coconuts a day and the wisdom to know when fish becomes a vegetable.
Tags: Khao San Road • Vegetarian • Thai Food