Traveling By Land, Sea and Air Hotel @nyware: August 2009

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Archive for August 2009

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I ♥ Amsterdam

Uncle Buddha with the Gouda

Cheese has a long history in Holland, so I had to take this photo opportunity.

Today I took a Canal Boat sightseeing excursion and it really was not a tourist trap; just a beautiful, scenic day in the sun.

Considering, Amsterdam is the most watery city in the world. Iytw as worth doing.

The Flying Dutchman, according to folklore, is a ghost ship that can never go home, doomed to sail the oceans forever. At times, I thought I was on that very ship--The city's canals and harbors are ubiquitous. It's the city's essence, however, and I'm glad I got to see canal life, the barges, the bridges, the boats, and all the rows of houses.

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Tune In. Turn On. Drop Out.

Greetings from The User Friendly Universe of Amsterdam. Mapquest is OUT. Cosmic Cartography is IN.

I'm testing/ tracking / false positive for "hanging loose" in the present tense. as I perform a life hack on my comfort zones and live in Hotel @ nyware--- I started drinking beer again, after a 15 year break (wow). It started with Guinness, in Dublin. I lowered my standards with Holland's brew.
Dreaming with eyes wide open, As I twitter, pulp-free on my G1 Goggle phone, My buddy Mike and I stopped off for an authentic Amstel, second only to Heineken.
If Amsterdam INC. is a business, it isn't Wal-Mart — it isn't trying to be the lowest-priced product in the market. It's a high-end product, maybe even a luxury product. Playing down and out in the Majik kingdom gets you short-listed for a double helping of cool, but don't expect a family friendly Dutch discount.
There's chill and creativity everywhere you turn; a whole mellow-frigging world out there, clarified and codified and grounded in inner slacker and range free-lactose intolerance.
You feel the the black market wheeler deal vibe here . It's a language that rolls up its sleeves, and speaks a slang that spits in the street and says, “I want something new everyday.” and “I want to be surprised”.

Free boarding Passes for the GGG, "Good, Giving, and Game," Sex and Drugs and Amsterdam

Growing old isn't optional, growing up is in the Netherlands is. The science of being mellow for free costs a lot. It's a full-time occupation. Burn rates in Amsterdam vary, but one thing for sure: In Holland it is as reliable and predictable as an episode of Seinfeld; the canals, the drugs and the whores.

Old Dog. New Tricks. Reminds me of Soi Cowboy in Bangkok,Thailand, and The North Shore of Hawaii

The Greenhouse Effect is in full splendor--as the Cannabis Coffee houses reek of Marijuana. Trustafarians, all locked up, squander their allowances. Harry Pothead locals act like ski bums who don't have to wash dishes or watch CNN - All are not making some amazing sacrifice just because they have two gears—let’s party and let’s get laid. Avoiding the boredom of excess is no miraculous feat.
It's Reefer Madness. Add a little retail sex, aka, Windows 2009, the Red Light District, and your Euros go up to Money Heaven if you cast a vote for Team Estrogen.
Even though there's nothing really ethical about the work ethic, Sex and Drugs is entrepreneurial, and Adam Smith would be proud of One Market Under God.

Cyclists are everywhere--and you are more likely to get hit by one than a car as everybody has a bicycle.

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You'll remember me when the West wind moves, Upon the fields of barley

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Glencoe (Left) Scrabster (Right)


The MacDonald Genetic Project

MacDonalds of Glencoe-(NearOban) Got a Can of Wup-Ass from The Campbell's

The Massacre of Glencoe occurred in Glen Coe, Scotland, in the early morning of 13 February 1692. I was born of February 13 1959; 267 years later--Weird, since my Grandmother is Dorothy Mac Donald.
Test results are positive- I am a reincarnation- made flesh again---No wonder why I don't like that soup company.

Beam Me Up Scotty

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Betteroff Scotland

Weighing in at 140 Pounds Sterling, I am not T'd off as I got some religion from The Patron Saint of Golf, Andrew. In The United States of Total Consciousness-The Carl Spangler Cinderella Story continues.
Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
Too cold to do the no shirt and no shoes John Daly thing. Checked in, however, with Ty Webb, Judge Smails, and Al Czervik. Lacey couldn't make it this time.
Visible Origami: My World is a Rumor, Formed from the Daydreams of Caddyshack...
So I jump ship in Oahu and I make my way over to Scotland, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the highlands.
Angie D'Annunzio: A looper?
A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier.
Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga.
So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know."
And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."
So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

It''s a hybrid. A cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

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Got Kilt?

Scotland the Brand verses Scotland The Brave
Auld Lang Syne ...Fields Of Gold...Better Days...

Just got back from The Scotch Whiskey Experience in Edinburgh. I believe I now possess Christ-like healing powers, thanks to the Angus Dundee Distillers and their Tomintoul 1976 Vintage.
The irrevocably Scottish kilts, the green landscapes. the whiskey, the Bagpipes, the Porridge, and guys like Malcom, Duncan and Macbeth, all were on tap AM; as the Fest and Furious get ready for the Edinburgh Military Tattoo tonight.
The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth

Did not see a single red haired, surly, penny-pinching Highlander who speak a language I am not familiar with.
Homage to the most instantly recognisable Scot in the world ---BEAM ME UP SCOTTY, James Doohan, from Star Trek. P.B.U.H. I was channelling The Chief Engineer...

"The engine imbalance is what caused the worm-hole in the first place. It'll happen again if we don't fix it." Man that malt reeked. It was woopass! "I notice you're still working with polymers."
The Raw Feed---Alcoholic and pugilistic, Ah, the Scots! their favorite colour may be plaid, but I find them to be a happy lot. I'll sample the night life and see if they live up to and represent the PM---ill educated, drunk, foulmouthed and belligerent.

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Why Pay less?

Oslo, Today, Beta World City Plus. The most expensive city on the planet. The Norse saga continues. I think I'm in Minnesota, AKA New Norway.

Norwegians-- healthy, enlightened, effective people or too much alcohol? Make the call.

They eat lutefisk, are passive-agressive, pronounce their W's as V's, look as though they were soaked in bleach and the ones from the old country listen to death metal.Born with skis on, they like their Viking past.

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Fortunate Son Meets The Prodigal One.

"You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside."

The Quicks and Perks of ...Queuing Up: The shortages are gone but the Cold War nightmares continue

So I'm back in Mother F"n Russia. Part Victoria Secret Cat Walk, part Janitor-in-a-Drum-gold-plated Septic tank....

And Then There is The Hermitage: Saw Leonardo di Caprio's Madonna and Child Michelangelo's Crouching Boy Statue, and Rembrandt's Prodigal Son.

What's hot verses what's not:
Waiting in line for six hours for the latest iteration of i phone at the Apple Store (Hot) verses

waiting on line from 8AM to 10:30 to step foot in The Hermitage.(Not) + the multiplier effect getting to role play in an old soviet peasant breadline scene--Still, damn well grateful for the opportunity.
Very authentic.

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Forget those Crest Whitener strips or baking soda, the quickest way to whiten your teeth is looking at a Rembrandt. Makes you smile. "You could take a Rembrandt anywhere in the world, to the deserts, jungles, or islands, and everybody would immediately understand it and respond."

Back in St Petersburg, Russia again for three days. With 400 rooms, 14 miles of hallways and nearly 3 million pieces of art, I always come back here to Rembrandt.The hermitage is closed on Monday (Tomorrow)On Tuesday I'll take video of The Prodigal Son . I just had a big dinner-so I'm a bit tired, but just shot this video of GR8 view...Roll to video...

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The Baltics And British Isles

15-Aug-09SaturdayAT SEA
18-Aug-09TuesdayOSLO, NORWAY
19-Aug-09WednesdayAT SEA
23-Aug-09SundayOBAN, SCOTLAND
24-Aug-09MondayDUBLIN, IRELAND
27-Aug-09ThursdayAT SEA
29-Aug-09SaturdayKIEL CANAL, GERMANY
2-Sep-09WednesdayAT SEA
3-Sep-09ThursdayPARIS (ROUEN), FRANCE
4-Sep-09FridayAT SEA
7-Sep-09MondayAT SEA
8-Sep-09TuesdayVIGO, SPAIN
9-Sep-09WednesdayAT SEA
11-Sep-09FridayAT SEA

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Finnish ing Up "The Snow Show"
Biking along The Old Sea Port. Sunny day today.
Your life style will determine your death style....and the Finns set the bar
Didn't see any Reindeer but I did see Rudolph the red nosed cowboy---at The Drinking Shop, aka Helsinki.
Moonlight in Vodka is in full bloom. The sun never sets on a good libation. Helsinki is a shrine to viina.
The #1 cause of death in Finland is alcohol. It's not just a drug, but a vitamin. It may be gluten-free. Yet, in my spirited quest for new taste, it's easy to say "No thank you", to Finlandia (Vodka). even Swedish Absolut.

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There is no YES in yesterday

Here I am smiling, with the little bike that could in the background. COPENhagen. That place is so clean and friendly. When the money faucet is running, everyone drinks from the fire hose.

Today in Warnemünde , the jumping off point for Berlin, and the seaside town--- was full of PPL, like riding a bus. I look a little sour. I biked for an hour, and then went back out to expolre the town.

There was some kind of historic "Ümgang" (parade); a regatta going on. Clipprer ships, Subs and Destroyers. The town was full of sausage and beer vendors, and tourists eating and drinking that stuff up.

A local girl from the "Alte Strom" (old river) asked where the tourist info was. I gave her directions in German (Pat on back).

The Beach Promenade at Warnemünde-
Beer Drinking Songs Great Taste, Less Filling
Everything you wanted in a beerdrinking song and less
Headlines--Lots of shaved skulls in Germany. I fit right in.

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It's fun to visit the most expensive city in Scandanavia--cOPENhagen, Denmark. Getting hygge (cozy) with the locals...

A Cup of Jonus

Not since the late 1990's, when the dollar took a beating against the Yen, I ordered two Domino's Pizza's and two bottle of Coke in Tokyo for $110 US Dollars, have I experienced "Sticker Shock" $5 Euros for a Coffee (About $8 bucks--It makes SBUXS look like a thrift shop. ( I didn't convert to Danish Kroners) etc...

The Little Mermaid is LITTLE, and ... The city is Bling

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Farther and farther into The Fatherland.
Hitler, the uber mensch of evil, hated Lübeck because it refused to allow him to campaign there in 1932. The Law of Diminbishing Returns is kicking in--that last Castle isn't as good as the first ones .
But now, its Steeples--Steeple Number 1,2,3,4,5,6,7

Dead Poet's Society
Bach and Handal played there (Love their werk). Thomas Mann, Nobel Laureate , was born here.(He later moved to the USA, got a literary agent and was made famous). Günter Grass, the Fashist gun in the West, lived in Lubeck.

Arriving in Travemünde

Travemünde, the port town to get to Lübeck.I just woke up thinking I was looking at castles.... Castle number 1,Castle number 2,Castle number 3Castle number 4 ....Castle number ???

Biking in Travemünde

Lübeck is Schön


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I'd like to teach the world to iTune, and Twitter

Tourist season in Sweden typically ends in August--Why pay more? Admission is free, The privilege of spending time not money in Scandanavia on the last month of Summer-WTF. I am damn well gratful for the "opportunity" in

That's my definition of Stockholm Syndrome--empathizing with my captors, who have held me hostage here for 48 hours.
Checking out the locals, Seeing the side streets, going beyond the tourist traps, and the unexpected all made biking the best way to really experience Stockholm.

As literary sherpa to the critical mass, I had my headphones on to the sounds of U2, my personal soundtrack. as I uploaded phtos and videos on my G1 phone to twitgoo and y frog.
Talkin' bout My Demographic
69% of adults don't know about twitter. I'm part of the 1%ers.

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Forget about the Suicidal winters and the reputation for the safest cars on earth. SAAB and Volvo can take a back seat. Stockholm has bike paths everywhere. It's easy to get around the islands that make up the city.

Stocholm Stadium Track Meet

Biking around downtown in raain

Seaport, Stockholm

Swedish Parade Today Wild Horses+ Mr Ed

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