Traveling By Land, Sea and Air Hotel @nyware: November 2009

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Let's Go Places

Archive for November 2009

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I hung out with Sarah Super Diver; She does deep sea fishing, snorkeling and diving.

I was at : Rafael E. Melgar LB, Centro, San Miguel de Cozumel, Qr, at none other than Starbucks. A lot of tri-athletes are here for the Iron Man/ It's cool because PPL think I am here to compete.

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Crossed the Panama Canal from Cristabol to Panama City and back by railroad yesterday.

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From Shakira whose hips don`t lie to the Calli Cartel, who make heads roll, wherever I go here I am... in Cartagena now...
I go for my first cup of JOEse and Juan Valdez rewards me with (3) $20 bills on the street, probably counterfeit!
That`s right. I found sixty bucks. It looks like I am on The Divine Payroll again...
Then I took a tour of the old city, and the castle and church standard stuff...

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ABC-Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao: You can bet on it.

As good as it gets, all of these Caribbean islands have white sandy shorelines with the same New Yorkers you might be fighting with for parking spaces back home only this time it's beach chairs. They speak a lot more Dutch here (in Aruba) than I expected. There's a lot of casinos, and a lot of the online poker/sportsbook sites who set up -offshore-shops. Maybe more will be here after the Dec 1 deadline for online gaming, when mostly all banks won't take deposits from American players . (December 1st, the date by which the financial services industry in the United States must fall into line with the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA).

B is for Bonaire, and I won't be headed there this time around.

Then there is "C" , Curacao, pronounced Curaçao. It is a quintessential port town with lots of activity and a quasi European feel, If you ever wished palm trees in Holland and 80 degree Januaries; complete with Amsterdam-like canals.

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It ain't much if it ain't Dutch

Ten Years ago I came here with fifty dollars and left with $300. Now that's how they vacation in The Netherlands or is this Venezuela? They sell the paradise experience real well here.

I was at : De Rouvilleweg, Willemstad,

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Got Coke?

I am on my way to Cartagena Columbia via Willemstad Curacao, Orjanstad Aruba; then on to Cristobal Panama and Play Del Carmen Mexico.

Ten days ago I lost my iPod. I said to myself, "It's not lost, you are" Today I was in Florida, walked right into Sandlewoods Yachtwear and Ashley,who works there just handed it over matter of factly

I was at : 1600 SE 15th Ave, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33316,

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It's not where you go, it's who you meet along the way...Jeff Keith from Tesla with Edward Anthony from TONY (To New York)

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Where Wall Street Meets Main Street

Overworked, Overpaid, Over here

The Cayman Islands, the world’s biggest hedge-fund venue and fifth-biggest bank center offer a " full range" of offshore financial services and products. No need to hide your money under the matress here- It's wash and go!

Yet, it seems like this place needs a US bailoutand some bonus money too. I'm not feeling the "tax me if you can" neuroeconomics vibe here.

How cool I get to witness the demise of the offshore Tax Haven Industry. I thought places like Grand Cayman would leave a mark in "Wealth Preservation". They will be lucky to make a stain.

PPL people are pissed off, mad, and bent out of shape at investment bankers. The traders, "strats" and "quants", the mathematical reptilian brains who came up with cryptic trading formulas, shot "interest rate swaps", "no credit defaults", "regular vanilla and extra crispy options; and their counterparts, the Math Atheists, the AmeriCon Sales-men with their bid-ask spreads", "bunds", and "bobls". What ever happened to "I bet On Jerome (Kerviel, the rogue trader at Société Générale)" and craving the high risky trading can bring?

There's a whole lot of nothing on Grand Cayman, Seems the Hedge Fund Banksters who took advantage of its tax laws, did a few loads of laundry, hid their fiduciary ASSets and disapeared have joined the w2 world of work again; going from stock investors, they've all become currency traders.

There in their J Crew at Barnie's Coffee Shop talking about The "Don't Worry Be Happy" post Ronald Reagan-omic years, as Neil Diamond's Forever In Blue Jeans is the musak.

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Hair Today, Gone to Maui

Rust never sleeps Queensryche's Parker and The Honorable Mr Slash.

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Headlines-Q Balls by choice

In the beginning, there was Michael.Jordan was the poster guy for the perfectly bald man. He made shaving cutting edge.

He took 'the shaved skull' from social outcast to rock star chick magnet status. The follicly challenged started doing the numbers .

Shaved head= Shiny, Smooth and Sexy. You could count on being noticed.

Me no hair

Is bald beautiful? Perhaps. Is bald a high end haircut? Maybe. One thing for sure, Bald is a hair color. If you want to make the statement that says, I run my own life. Shave your head and join the Union!

Me no hair is a walking, breathing billboard and bullhorn that shouts, "I've got other plans" to the "Have a nice day" retail speak, and the SNL's (Saturday Night Live's) flight attendant "Ba-Bye" sketch.

Be Brave and Shave!

"Getting Kojack-ed" was made popular by 1970's TV star, Telly Savalas. Who loves ya baby? We do---the perfectly bald.

Yul Brynner was the quintessential Fuzzy Wuzzy when it wasn't (very) fuzzy. to "go all the way", back in the day, when Mr Clean, a household brand was the only game in town. Now we have MiliTerry O'Quinn.

We have yet to see a celebrity call a press conference to deny they are wearing a wig (David "Weave" Roth did it on radio). If indeed, there were such a day, Sir Elton John, William Shatner, and my all-time favorite, Burt Reynolds, would have what ---I Love Lucy's Ricky Ricardo--- would say, have some "splaning to do". The Donald's cover up has an honorable mention for all of its dishonesty. Rosie trumped that.

Life is too short for hair. In fact, a BBC survey says men who shave every day have a lesser chance of stroke than those who shave infrequently We are not skinheads, or Chemo patients, but would we shave our head for cancer, research, a cause? You know, get people to sponsor you, and the biggest donor gets the honor of the first cut.

Nowadays, Celebrities,
Politicians, Athletes, and folks just like us are all saying, "Me No Hair".The ten "baldies" you H8 or dig in this world---who are they? Post your comments here at Hotel @nyware. If you need any ideas, check out my jumpcut music video.

We, the "young and the ruthless" who were growing too tall for our hair, started conformin
g to the idea that we could be running our own show; and rebelling against the $2 Billion Dollar hair "restoration" industry of plugs, rugs and drugs.

The tragedy really was not in something that was, but in something that wasn't. Drinking the kool-aid of late-night infomercials that going "hair-free" cost too much was bunk. The fear merchants put the con back in confidence with "Wayne's World"-style public access shows and 1-800 numbers.

They tried to make us afraid, and take away the "pain", the pain of once parted hair that now was de-parting, cutting "itself". As if it was happening to us, and keeping us separated from looking good. It was just exchanging an I for an I, and keeping us blind to the fact that hair "loss" is no loss at all, and, more than that, the upside of shaving it all off, is all gains, in street cred and social and spiritual capital.

Then Of Course, there is Dr Evil--

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery...

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Mc Donalds Is Hiring At Gitmo!

Out of work and willing to relocate, McDonalds is looking for shift managers at GITMO! to flip hamburgers.

Ronald sez, "The McDonald's franchise at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba is looking for an assistant manager. The ideal candidate will have previous restaurant management experience, a valid U.S. passport and a willingness to relocate to Cuba.

As I sail by the Northwest point of Cuba, Ed sez "Give me the ball. Put me in Coach!"

I have always dreamed of that perfect place in the sun, working for one of the world's largest companies on the planet and enjoying tax -free income.

Camp X Ray sounds awesome! hanging out with Jihad Joes and Generation Terrorists. Six degrees from Mohamad Atta. Yes even the 215 detainees, can make take-out orders for Big Macs and Happy Meals!

I guess those days of nation building, taking all the angry PPL from Iran and Iraq, and giving them their own country-Irate, are over. The Cuba Express Card-Don't leave home.

Marlboro Man---is an American Beauty---Look Closer. Cowboy French Fries! from the most powerful---and in some quarters, most hated----brand image of the century.

And the winner of the Phillip Morris Throat Kazoo, in a smokeless tobacco catagory goes to this Angioplasty---Come to McDonald Country.SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The smeel of McDonald french fries causes everyone around you to run away and join the circus, yearn to play the bagpipes or start busting it out in an interesting Christian rock band Scott Stipe sort of way.

In the United States of Unconscious eating, The Standard American Diet acronym is S.A.D. --This your brain on french fries! Depressing, huh? I thought Chairman ObaMao outlawed torture!

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Being Chuck Noland

Ed Reif is a time-obsessed FedEx systems analyst, who jets around the world resolving productivity problems. After his plane crashes, he is given up for dead. Stranded alone on a desert island, his only companion is Wilson, a volleyball.

Knowing he must get back to the mainland, Ed builds a crude raft and heads out to sea because he still has one more package to deliver.

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Red Stripe Beerfest
Listen Up

As I approach the gateway to the tropical heaven, I got Bob Marley in my ears. Summing up The Bob Mood- he assures me, Every thing's Gonna be alright,

Yet if Vegas is where neon goes to die, then this is certainly the resting place of "Legend" and "One Love" Bob Marley Nostalgia. The music still stands the test of time, and Bob Marley is an American Idol, but the country needs an extreme makeover.

Think Fat Elvis belting out a few lines of My Way--Karaoke Elvis, a cheap imitation of himself. And so it is with Jamaica, like a hound dog with a few miles left, loyal to the end--providing tourists with the ganja, the rum, the HBO (Hair Belonging To Others) $10 hookers and the rasta vibe.

"So what do you want?" gets asked a hundred times as I walk the gauntlet in Ocho Rios. I'm feeling Cambodia, Thailand and Turkey pushing at me all at the same time. Thank god there are no carpet merchants.

Even Rolling Stone's Mick Jaggar abandoned his house; paid with a currency that doesn't exist anymore-the US Dollar.

I want to say-"What do I want--how about infrastructure, a police force, sanitation, hygiene..but instead I say" Coconuts"...They have plenty of those.

No Woman No Cry, sung by the Patron Saint of Reggae, is a pain in the English.

At first I thought it meant, No woman=no cry. Then, "Hay Woman Don’t cry, woman". Lately, I know it as another meaning: There is no woman who doesn't cry. This Coconut Entrepeneur has his take on it; but I found out a more accurate rendering of NWNC in Jamaican patois would be ‘No, woman, nuh cry.’ The ‘nuh,’ which makes a shorter vowel sound for ‘no,’ is the equivalent of the contraction ‘don’t.

Yu done know (= You understand) Inna di morrows =See you tomorrow in The Grand Cayman Islands and the calm, turquoise waters of Enya's Western Caribbean Blue.

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Took a tour of Old San Juan. Nice!

The Port of San Juan is reportedly one of the busiest seaport in the West, ranked among the top 17 in the world in terms of container movement. It is also the largest home-based cruise port in the world with over a dozen cruise ships absed out of here.

It is the second busiest port in cruise volume after Miami. I didn't see many ships today--maybe because it's Saturday.

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Sailing Into St Thomas USVI

After five days of Pasta and Pizza, I feel like a carbo-loading marathoner. The favorite food around here is "Seconds".

Eddie Spaghetti

This "strategy" used when I was an endurance athlete to maximize the storage of glycogen (or energy) in my muscles, doesn't do that much good stuck on The Godfather ship. Definitely has some effects on the metabolism.

So I had to de-sludge with some coconut magic water drunk from a Subway paper cup and now I am rebooted and suited... later...

Generation RX

The Doctor delivers some more coconut magic water: I 've had 4 of them so far today.
I'm coo coo for Coconuts

They are anti-viral, anti-fungal and anti-microbial. I was up to 6 a day this February in the Land of Smiles-Thailand. (see All Tha'd Up).

The water is the purest liquid second only to water itself. It is full of electrolytes, calcium and magnesium. An average size coconut has more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117 mg).Coconut Water has more food value than whole milk; is a Natural Isotonic Beverage - The same level we have in our blood; and, it contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk.

The menu is not the meal, the map not the territory and: Saint Thomas is the statue but Paia, is the Saint-- head trip for the trustafarians.

Oh well, Audi 500

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And You May Ask Yourself

The Ipod Shuffle is on, and like an oracle, a perverse pied piper leading an army of one(me) into self destruction. The Talking Heads Once In A Lifetime is playing.

Water dissolving...and water removing. There is water at the bottom of the ocean. Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean.Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

The 80's is a blur.I do remember the The MTV Music video. It broke new ground when it was exhibited at the New York Museum of Modern Art.

David Bryne still makes my brain ache. He used to go to Parsons School of Design across the street from NYU's Rubin Hall (35 Fifth Avenue) but eat dinner with Alec Baldwin and the rest of the herd. We called him Maybellene. He was the first man we knew to wear GUYliner.

The water flowing is time, The rest is a rant about the treadmill of consumption "Just Buy It".

I think this song is about getting divorced. Getting married is only supposed to happen "Once in a lifetime"

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Crossing the Atlantic, headed for Charlotte Amalie, Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands.

Makes me think of America's Horse With No Name, an easy song I first played on Guitar; basically E minor...The Ocean is a desert with its life under ground and the perfect disguise above.

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