Hotel @nyware

If you are over 30, please leave this blog. Hotel @nyware might not be older age appropriate. Like Abercrombie & Fitch, I don’t think it’s in our DNA to really do business with mature people, especially those who speak with a social media stutter.

Oh wait, 50 is the new 30. You can stay a while and learn the best ways to age gracefully---

Eureka! The fountain of You(th) is here: Drink the waters of eternal life from the fire hose---The secret of staying young isn't lying about your age: it's living in America, having a cell phone, an internet connection and using social media, and jonzing to collaborate and communicate with like minds.

Talkin' 'bout My Demographic

Hotel @nyware has officially left the boring "boomer" backdrop, and is now the unoffical Sock Puppet for the trendier Generation “Jones landscape”.

Too young to be a boomer, too old to be an Xer, lead singer for the Counting Crows, Adam Duritz, is playing Maureen McCormick's song---Mr Jones--- Screenager Marcia Brady finally has a home. The 70's guilty pleasure bands like Journey and Super Tramp, and the decade itself, finally can be taken seriously.

We are the greatest and largest generation in US history, born between 1954 and 1965. Our 53 million members constitute more than 1out of 4 adults living in America today. We are the Mission Critical Mass in the Holy Grail for mind share, eye balls and attention. We weren't the lost generation, just the invisable THEY, the anonymous no one.

Defined by a TV Channel, if you know that the first video that aired on MTV was the Buggles' “Video Killed the Radio Star,” you are a card carrying member of Generation Mr Edward/ Ms.Bridget Jones fan club.

We, the Jonzers, saw the (r)Evolution of sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, devolve into AIDS, Studio 54 addictions and ABBA. We , the Jonzers, never could relate to the hippies, instead read the tongue in cheek guidebook---Official Preppy Handbook and wore the see you later alligator Lacoste polo shirts and Sperry Topsiders.

People as diverse as Rosie O'Donnell, and George Stephanopoulus (ABC News) have all joined the assorted Joneses; that new demographic that Jonathan Pontell identified.

This is an obituary for the generation gap. It's never to late to have a good childhood. It's never to late for our generation to be found. We 40 (something)-year-old men and women who act and react, talk the talk and walk the walk and dress like 20 years old kids! This is not a fashion statement but a trend that looks to be permanent. And our own personal soundtrack plays on our ipod.

Social Media makes us more. Something incredible happens with tools which are never put down — which, like the tool of language, are always on, always reliably available. Check out the portals, Path Connect and BOOMJ to communicate and collaborate with your neighbors, the Joneses.

Take the Jones test:

1. The classic mall of Jonesers 1980s culture — first made famous as the epicenter of “Valley Girls,” then featured in the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High — shut down in 1999. What was its name?

2. The Big Three of our mid-1980's music culture were all born in 1958. Name them.

3. One song overwhelmingly ended the most high school dances across America in the 70's. Name that tune.

4. What did Joneser Brooke Shields have between her and her Calvins?

5. Yeah, Jonesers were the “Sweathogs” of Welcome Back Kotter. How many do you remember?

6. What rumor about Mikey (from Life cereal adds) fizzed among Jonesers in the 1970s?

7. We were the first generation of kids with video games. What was the beloved original?

8. A Joneser played the title role in the made-for-TV movie, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Who was he?

9. Three movies with ensemble generational casts were released at the same time in the mid-1980s. The Big Chill for Boomers, The Breakfast Club for Xers. Which one for Jonesers?

10. Which actress in what movie inspired the “torn sweatshirt/bare shoulder/leg warmer” look among Jonesers in the 1980s?

ANSWERS:

1. The Galleria.

2. Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince.

3. “Stairway to Heaven.”

4. “Nothing”

5. Barbarino, Epstein, Boom-Boom, Horshack.

6. He supposedly died from drinking soda with Pop Rocks.

7. Pong.

8. John Travolta.

9. St. Elmo's Fire

10. Jennifer Beals, Flashdance.

Generation Jones Path Connect Jonathan Pontell Boomj

Global Green USA, the US affiliate of Green Cross International led by Mikhail S. Gorbachev, has lined up 30 cars to shuttle stars and guys like Davis Guggenheim, director of the Oscar-nominated Mocumentary on global warming "An Inconvenient Truth".

Ecolimo, (slogan: 'Green Cars for Green People') will be ferrying celebrities to and from a number of award shows this year in a variety of alternatively-powered vehicles ranging from a Toyota Prius and a Honda Civic GX Natural Gas Vehicle to a Ford Excursion Turbo Diesel and a Mercedes E320 CDI, both of which are Bio-Diesel powered.

Hotel @nyware's has intercepted a memo to Al Gore from Entourage uber-agent,the Goricle: Ari Gold: "Al,you will win more than an Oscar tomorrow ---- Announce your 2008 election bid and win the Presidency".

Can't Blame It On RainMan!

Qantas Stewardess Lisa Robertson must have taken Hotel Anyware's moniker seriously --- "A Business class ticket to cool, with complimentary mojo after takeoff. Feel free to move around the cabin, but please stay inside the aircraft until you land."

According to Rainman (Dustin Hoffman in the film of the same name ) only one airline, Qantas never crashed; but it did have a mid-air incident on a recent Darwin-to-Mumbai (Bombay) flight. "The spirit of Australia" now has Hollywood's best frequent flyer program as Ralph Fiennes, seat 2K, got triple xxx bonus miles with Lisa Robertson, as the two-time Academy Award nominee, graduate of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, becomes the most recent inductee into the elite group of travelers in the mile high airborne "shagadelic" club.

Ralph has given new meaning to the free spirited traveler's wanderlust. He was on a five-day UNICEF tour of AIDS-ravaged India to raise awareness about STDs. The global promoter and Ambassador of safe sex has become "Unsafe Rafe" at any speed.

Harry Pothead got busted for "Going Down Under" with the former New South Wales DEA undercover cop, turned flight attendant/air matress;as she spends this week negotiating media deals to kiss and tell the story of her fling on Flight QF123.

Daddy's little girl, Robertson says, "(Ralph) didn't' wear a condom. Looking back it was dangerous behaviour - and pretty hypocritical given that he was going to India to talk about Aids. "But at the time I didn't care. As we were going at it he joked, 'Are you promiscuous.'"

Work Ethic In The Toilet "I'm Lisa. Fly Me!"

Her dad Graham Robertson, was quoted as saying" Lisa just does her job and if someone wants a cup of coffee and biscuits, she looks after them." I guess bathroom sex is part of her $24,000 per year job. Check please.

Ba-Bye---Thank you for flying Qantas. Flight crew, you can now return your passengers to their upright positions.

ed reif

"First, you have to shave your head" will be the life sentence to the great American novel---"Hair today.Gone tomorrow" the "period" to the post 911 angst. Like John Lennon, "More Popular than Jesus" even Britney Spears shaves!

In the beginning, there was Michael.

Jordan was the poster guy for the perfectly bald man. He made shaving cutting edge. He took "the shaved skull" from social outcast to rock star chick magnet status. The follicly challenged started doing the numbers . Shaved head= Shiny, Smooth and Sexy. You could count on being noticed.

We, the "young and the ruthless" who were growing too tall for our hair, started conforming to the idea that we could be running our own show; and rebelling against the $2 Billion Dollar hair "restoration" industry of plugs, rugs and drugs.

The tragedy really was not in something that was, but in something that wasn't. Drinking the kool-aid of late-night infomercials that going "hair-free" cost too much was bunk. The fear merchants put the con back in confidence with "Wayne's World"-style public access shows and 1-800 numbers.

They tried to make us afraid, and take away the "pain", the pain of once parted hair that now was de-parting, cutting "itself". As if it was happening to us, and keeping us separated from looking good. It was just exchanging an I for an I, and keeping us blind to the fact that hair "loss" is no loss at all, and, more than that, the upside of shaving it all off, is all gains, in street cred and social and spiritual capital.

The biggest shift in thinking necessary to surviving the global supermarket of "more", is letting go.Me no hair is a walking, breathing billboard and bullhorn that shouts, "I've got other plans" to the "Have a nice day" retail speak, the SNL's (Saturday Night Live's) flight attendant "Ba-Bye" sketch, and the shameless "Pick up the phone now" televangalists.

Nowadays, Celebrities, Politicians,Athletes, and folks just like us are all saying, "Me No Hair".The ten "baldies" you H8 or dig in this world---who are they? Post your comments here at Hotel @nyware. If you need any ideas, check out my jumpcut music video.
.

Yul Brynner was the quintessential Fuzzy Wuzzy when it wasn't (very) fuzzy. to "go all the way",back in the day, when Mr Clean, a household brand was the only game in town. "Getting Kojack-ed" was made popular by 1970's TV star, Telly Savalas. Who loves ya baby? We do---the perfectly bald.

We have yet to see a celebrity call a press conference to deny they are wearing a wig (David "Weave" Roth did it on radio). If indeed, there were such a day, Sir Elton John, William Shatner, and my all-time favorite, Burt Reynolds, would have what ---I Love Lucy's Ricky Ricardo--- would say, have some "splaning to do". The Donald's cover up has an honorable mention for all of its dishonesty. Rosie trumped that.

Is bald beautiful? Perhaps. Is bald a high end haircut? Maybe. One thing for sure, Bald is a hair color.If you want to make the statement that says, “I run my own life”. Shave your head and join the Union! Q Balls by choice. My imaginary internet friend, poker bad boy Daniel Negrano just announced yesterday his plans to shave bald.

Life is too short for hair. In fact, a BBC survey says men who shave every day have a lesser chance of stroke than those who shave infrequently

We are not skinheads, or Chemo patients, but would we shave our head for cancer, research, a cause? You know, get people to sponsor you, and the biggest donor gets the honor of the first cut. If only Britney had done it for a good cause---that would have made more sense instead of the inane and the in to our sane how hum 9 to 5 world.

The Smoking Scalp

Heads Up:Even the Prez has a fondness for Bald Eagles, preferring to Shake (and kiss)heads instead of hands of Generation Debt.

Blogged with Flock
eBay Britney Spears Bald

If you are over 30, please leave this blog.Hotel @nyware might not be older age appropriate. Like Abercrombie & Fitch, I don’t think it’s in our DNA to really do business with mature people, especially those who speak with a social media stutter.

Oh wait, 70's the new 50.Dyan Cannon proved that; and 50 is the new 30, Ed Reif just had a birthday -he's 18 with 32 years experience! You can stay a while.

Eureka! I found the fountain of youth---the secret of staying young isn't lying about your age, it's living in America, having a cell phone, an internet connection and using social media.

As we take the synaptic initative, to move out of the audience and into that of practitioner, we're all 18 to the nth degree--Natural Born Hapas ---Half (wo)Men,Half Machines--- living online and offworld, in a rich media space which is the place.

Time's YOU(th)--- person of the year is an attitude that, doesn't read newspapers, thinks communication is old news, and has play dates in new media, a third place our brains make "smart" so that we can be dumb in peace.

Home is not where the heart is. Home is where my computer is. Right now, if I'm offline, it's just a cognitive inconvenience.Without a computer, I'll someday be lobotomized. Without an Internet connection, it would be (like) having a seizure or a mild stroke.

While books and newspapers have a less is more edge, social media makes us more. Something incredible happens with tools which are never put down — which, like the tool of language, are always on, always reliably available.

A fish is the last to know it is in the water, and there is a great cultural shift coming that still wants to separate the fish from the sea.

SHIFT Happens---MAKE verus DO

It's CNN versus the alphabet, a culture clash of knowledge silos,between image and word: the right brain thoughts, cinematic expressions and storytelling needs of creative people versus left brain linear by the numbers grey suited accountants and bureaucratic literacy's of white coated Mr Science's.

Why are the most literate and cultured people on our planet using up their present moments killing each other because of religion or political intolerance, even though nearly all of them have believed in the same God?

Because they are not using The Google. They don't own/use a computer. They read! the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, sacred texts and literary works like Shakespeare; instead of cutting and pasting their photos, drawing Deviant Art and shooting video with their digital cameras.

During the Atom Age and Cold War, kids never got hands-on with fusion reactions and the abominable no man. This YOUneverse is da bomb. ACCESS is free. Information is free--the most culturally-transformative technologies of our time are free. Take one. It's free.The best web 2.0 aquisition bait.

Our brains are good at using whats available out there as our extended mind. In LA I am my car, my SUNNTO wrist watch, my regional accent, my computer, my media. These are not things outside myself, they are extensions of me.I may be Nisei , a second generation digital immigrant, yet I feel like a natural born Hapa---half person, half machine.

If you make stuff in the studio, office, laboratory, or workplace, It's all beta space for the NBH (natural born Hapa).

technorati tags:Social Media, Dyan Cannon

Blogged with Flock

,

DNA Paternity Madness, Who's Your Daddy? We all are! "I'm Spartacus!"

Bloggers are the sharpshooters that come down from the hill after the battle to shoot the wounded, in this case, the dead. I'm talking about Anna Nicole Smith, uber cleavage girl. I'll give it my best shot. Anna Nicole's death offers a new spin on the failure of the war on drugs.

What exactly was Anna famous for anyway? Oh yea,the American dream–trailer trash Vicky Lynn Hogan done good, or least done rich and famous . Being Blonde---it sells and Anna was the Chief Marketing Officer of the Peroxide kind, making gold digging a 90's fashion statement once again. She was the extreme makeover before the ABC TV version. Her plastic surgeries were legendary triple xxx alphabet soup--C-cups, E-cups, F-cups and FF(Maybe her boobs killed her).

The (implanted) bimbos have been converging in Silicone valley calling audibles "Fake right, fake left" ---like American Idol, voting who will be the next Anna Nicole Smith, who will replace her? Our straw poll at Hotel @nyware reveals--- Paula Abdul--- a train wreck waiting to happen has 42% of the vote with 98 precincts reporting.

Anna posed no threat to the Kremlin, so plutonium has been ruled out---Cause of death has switched to how much she's worth, as she joins Hollywood's Hoe Hall of Famer Marilyn Monroe in Strawberry Fields forever, with her dead oil billionaire husband, J. Howard Marshall.

Let's really look at why Anna Nicole Smith and "only the good die young". While illegal drug use is down, legal is up. The number of Americans that "admit" to using is 15 Million; and there is a 140% rise in self reported cases of pain killers. Prescription drugs are killing people. Its the next AIDS. Accidental drug poising is on the rise. We don't mind dieing, we just don't want to be around when it happens. Anna probably wasn't around when it happened.

Peak Performance:Drugs not hugs. The fastest growing group of drug abusers are 12- to 17-year-olds and 18- to 25-year-olds.

Parents are their own kids drug dealers medicating them for depression, attention deficit disorder, and the gamut of psycho and behavioral problems mostly because they want their kids to do better at school and in RL, Real Life. The top three Amphetamines: Ritalin; Concerta; Adderal.

Productivity:Take the blue or red pill. Medicated Marriage.

Mid life crisis in our careers as parents, spouses and/or earners. We drink the koolaid and take drugs like Lipitor, Viagra, Prozac, and Prilosec, to kick start our ability to do more and feel better and to relieve the pain including the pain of having to stop from eating and drinking the things that probably got us there in the first place.The top five pain killers Codeine; Demerol: Percocet: Vicoidin; Oxycontin. The top five Anti-Anxiety Killers: Zanax; Valium; Klonopin; Librium; Ativan. Love may have been the drug... but for many couples, the honeymoon is over--- it's the daily antidepressants which keep the illusionary fire burning.

Life Extension: The "prescription" for happiness. We're not going to the doctor, we're going to the mall.

Old(er) folks take drugs not only to alleviate the pain of aging, but also to extend their lives. HGH (Synthetic Growth Hormones), Deprnyl, Piracetam

technorati tags:Anna Nicole Smith, Drugs, Paula Abdul

Blogged with Flock

The reason football is so popular over basketball and baseball is that its good; and NFL films is probably the reason.There's one miraculous exception---the Pro Bowl--- a meaningless exhibition in an otherwise tremendous sport.

Everything that makes pro football great, the hits, the plays, the players is missing in action. In a world where winning isn't the only thing it's everything: winning a Pro Bowl is secondary---- Staying healthy is what’s counts. That doesn’t make for good football.

In fact , it's cold pizza, going through the motions, not exerting any effort. Is there any player who actually takes it seriously or willing to call it a game? Isn't it just a vacation ,R & R and rehab?Isn't it s just a sadistic reminder to football fans all over America that the season is officially over?

If you are really wondering if the AFC will beat the NFC, well...there's no such thing as bad pizza

technorati tags:ProBowl, NFL

Blogged with Flock

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly: Jeannie, Her Evil Twin and Major Nelson

The Empress's New Space Suit: Going Postal, I mean, NASA. You were a credit to your gender and your Alma mater, Penn State. Bye, Bye Miss American Pie, our last great role model. Barbie wants to be an astroNOT when she grow up.

If only you had worn more sunscreen Lisa; instead of driving your Chevy to the levy. You may have gone from hero to zero G's free falling, but not into oblivion- there's a book deal and HBO special out there. Can't wait to see you on Oprah.

Nowak is da bomb, the new weapon of mass distraction---spokesmodel for adult incontinence and enuresis. She's her own Judge Judy and Executioner with a turbo charged Red Bull Tang Twinkee defense and a pedal to the metal O.J. media frenzy.

Don't mention the diaper? It Depends.Some people call you the space cowgirl, some people call you the gangster of love; some people call you psycho biatch for setting third wave feminists back 50 years. Our number 1 for number 2. You passed the test but flunked the class; just like Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, Lindsy Lohan. The WRONG stuff!

This is Not Brain Surgery. It's Rocket Science! When I drive 900 miles, I use the interstate rest area toilets. But that's just me. I'm not an astronaut, but I was a SAG extra on Armageddon.

Space Cadet---Married With Children--Lisa M Nowak, Captain,Navy Pilot, West Point, Master's Degree. Husband works for Mission Control. Houston we got a diaper. Wheaties may be the breakfast of champions but Lisa must have had a bowl of stupid. Homeboy's wild oats have turned to shredded wheat. Life's a cereal. Ask Mikey.Check please.

Your homework assignment kids is to find out what flight risk means. Actually, Lisa M Astro- nut is the poster child for Diapergate--- NASA's super absorbent billion dollar taxpayer burn rate meltdown: legacy 1970's demented technology, glorified plumbers and electricians. Total waste of money. A Space oddity that may have gone to the dark side of the moon with Lisa Marie's road trip, but, for the most part, has been flying low orbit backyard "missions" for twenty some odd years.

Let the geeks(civilians) inherit the earth again.Where are you now, the Joe Dimagio of Space blogging, Anousheh Ansari GalacticTourist/Ambassador, when we need you? It's up to you, Google and X Prize Lunar Lander Challange to get us back to the moon.

Ground Control To Major Bill: Forget Rehab, What's the meaning of Wife? Get One! Guy Code, Article IV, Section H8: You forgot to PAMPER your woman. Dude(Navy Cmdr William Oefelein) you'd better chose your FWB's --- Friends With Benefits---more carefully. Men are from Earth. Women are from earth: Deal with it.

The man dating, or as Paris Hilton likes to say, having unprotected sex with two women and lying to both them, was the captain of Shuttle Discovery. I think he needs to go to Netflix and rent Fatal Attraction.

Blogged with Flock

Tino Buntic Gets The Noble Prize for global warming, and pissing a lot of Big Chill A list (the uninhibited) bloggers off. The "battles" are so bitter at the West Point of blogism (Technorati) because the stakes are so low.

A Status Quotation---
"The 2000 bloggers viral collage is artificially inflating the economic authority in our ecosystem"--- dah, that is the whole point. Jowang is unworthy.Talk to the hand. The guys at podtech.net will be giving you a "pink" slip (to match your purse). I think it's time to run the Apple Think Different spot here.

Tino has been melting the icebergs over at Technorati. The 2000 Bloggers was a trailer park link & love bottom feeding Blogistanian fest that messed with the Valedictorian real estate of the top 100 places to live on the web. Tino gamed google. He gamed technorati. His link farm is a link plantation. He just gave us the building permit. Now the Building code inspectors want to do their own rank and yank of this Self-reported narcissism.

It’s no secret Technorati is elitist.Their name sounds like a thing from another tax bracket. 2000 Bloggers gave their quo a little less status. This wasn't a case of keeping up with the Joneses, it was dragging them down to our level. Thanks for the cut and pastes yawl.

Broke Back Links-Hay Technorati---If it's not broke, break it (before someone else does). 2000 Bloggers did you a favor. It was broke, and now you fixed it.

We all know that links are currency, and Tino was paying us with "Get Links Quick" monopoly money. All I know is my Marvin Gardins went to Boardwalk. Tino and the 2000+ inflated our link worth. So what, give him a get out of jail free card Technorati. Just a little useless mischief.

Relax and Lower Your Standards. Gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette.2K Bloggers is no Y2K millennium bug; just the new Punk Rock!

technorati tags:tinobuntic, 2000bloggers

Blogged with Flock