Hotel @nyware

Life Is Always Where We Are

Posted by Ed Reif» on - - 22 comments»



Can't Blame It On RainMan!

Qantas Stewardess Lisa Robertson must have taken Hotel Anyware's moniker seriously --- "A Business class ticket to cool, with complimentary mojo after takeoff. Feel free to move around the cabin, but please stay inside the aircraft until you land."

According to Rainman (Dustin Hoffman in the film of the same name ) only one airline, Qantas never crashed; but it did have a mid-air incident on a recent Darwin-to-Mumbai (Bombay) flight. "The spirit of Australia" now has Hollywood's best frequent flyer program as Ralph Fiennes, seat 2K, got triple xxx bonus miles with Lisa Robertson, as the two-time Academy Award nominee, graduate of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, becomes the most recent inductee into the elite group of travelers in the mile high airborne "shagadelic" club.

Ralph has given new meaning to the free spirited traveler's wanderlust. He was on a five-day UNICEF tour of AIDS-ravaged India to raise awareness about STDs. The global promoter and Ambassador of safe sex has become "Unsafe Rafe" at any speed.

Harry Pothead got busted for "Going Down Under" with the former New South Wales DEA undercover cop, turned flight attendant/air matress;as she spends this week negotiating media deals to kiss and tell the story of her fling on Flight QF123.

Daddy's little girl, Robertson says, "(Ralph) didn't' wear a condom. Looking back it was dangerous behaviour - and pretty hypocritical given that he was going to India to talk about Aids. "But at the time I didn't care. As we were going at it he joked, 'Are you promiscuous.'"

Work Ethic In The Toilet "I'm Lisa. Fly Me!"

Her dad Graham Robertson, was quoted as saying" Lisa just does her job and if someone wants a cup of coffee and biscuits, she looks after them." I guess bathroom sex is part of her $24,000 per year job. Check please.

Ba-Bye---Thank you for flying Qantas. Flight crew, you can now return your passengers to their upright positions.




Categories: ,

22 Responses so far.

  1. Between this and Britney's latest hairdo, I just can't keep up...

  2. I did an interview with Mr. Sky Stud last year for MovieMaker magazine (the world's greatest film magazine, edited by a goddess of uncommon discernment). The tagline on the cover takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn't it?

  3. Zero Boss says:

    How to bag Ralph Fiennes in two easy steps. Flight attendant Lisa Robertson, previously rumored to have had a mile-high fling with Fiennes, spills the dirt. If this were a famous female actress, of course, the moral scolds would be screaming about the moral degradation of our culture, and how Hollywood is turning our kids into “fuck attendants”. As for me, I don’t see the attraction. Not to Ralph Fiennes, mind you - I definitely see that - but to having sex in an airplane bathroom. I get claustrophobic in those fuckers even when I’m the only one in there. (Plus, it’s a good thing neither of them is a screamer.)

  4. Ralph is so Fienne(s) Cheeky or Compulsive?
    Applying my personal value system to this scenario, my interpretation can only be... f@#*&!!%ing lucky flight attendant!!!

  5. LA says:

    Downward Dogs Naked Yoga Continues.
    This story just keeps on giving!

  6. It's a tough gig, living the life of a male celebrity. Having to live with the crushing burden of being constantly hounded by women wanting sex must be particularly nightmarish. Even when trying to mind your own business on a plane, there's no escape.

    I weep for them.
    Chris Morris Sydney, NSW, AU

  7. He's such an idiot. Totally midlife crisis crap. You're Ralph Fiennes for goodness sakes.

  8. Ralph Fiennes' next film project

    Ralph_fiennes Either Snakes on a Plane II or The Mile-High Club.

  9. Nirali says:

    Coming To An Aircraft Toilet Near You?

  10. Ralph Fiennes is nasty. And I wasn’t aware of the fact that he was on his way to talk to people about AIDS when he had unprotected sex with a stranger.

    And the only real friend Britney Spears has was the hairdresser that refused to shave her head.

    There. Next.

  11. Coffee, tea Or Me.
    Sucks she got suspended, but wouldn't it be totally worth it? Wouldn't you risk your job (well, that job) to hook up with a hot celebrity, mid-air? I would.

    I bet she gets a Playboy deal.
    Pagan Marbury
    ThongSpeed

  12. Having sex
    with a woman he just met in an airplane bathroom isn't my problem, but the yoga thing...

    I know that's wrong—but if he came over and performed naked yoga for me . . . well, that's something I doubt I'd ever recover from.

  13. Fiennes taps Cabin girl.Big Deal

  14. Now that's what I call Customer Service!

    Panics Deepest Thoughts

  15. Danny says:

    Well, looks like Lisa regained her memory...
    ---
    Lisa Robertson, 38, told Woman's Day that she "melted" in the presence of the 44-year-old star of the 1996 film The English Patient, which she had watched 20 times.
    There goes the day job...

    Danny

  16. MollyGood says:

    High Altitude, Short Romp, Long Winded

    Lisa Robertson has come clean about the tryst in a ridiculous, 3,800-word article that reads like a Harlequin novel

    Careful not to trip over all the bawdy details! With this, I think the Daily Mail just effectively snatched up the malcontent soccer mom demographic ("Now you can get the news and intimate insight into sexual escapades your husband will be too busy working to replicate").

    PS This article also notes that Ralphy insisted on unprotected sex. Absolutely wonderful behavior while on a UNICEF AIDS awareness tour.

  17. Anonymous says:

    AIDS Hypocrite
    But:

    http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?jdn1eyntrbk

  18. Scott Adams says:

    That's nothing,one night, after the Golden Globes, I had a threesome in a dumpster behind a seafood restaurant.

    SA

  19. Ralph Fiennes has decided to deactivate his membership in the Mile High Club as he has agreed to stick to land transportation only

  20. Cula says:

    Define irony...or is it hypocrisy?
    Qantas, the mile high carrier

  21. Amazing how much fuss is made over something we all do.

  22. Taking good care of the English Patient

    SwanShadow

Popular Posts